Reframing Balance, with Life as the Focus.
Work life balance. This is not a new topic, but a great topic to look at as we begin to close out this year.
We know and have known for quite some time that we need more balance. Yet I am beginning to think that one of the problems we’ve been having with this is that we have the topic backwards. Why when we think about creating balance, do we have work as our header? Is that the priority? Or is that the problem?
Think about it…do you find that your life is more and more work and less and less life? Okay, then now we have a real place to begin. This is the why. Why it is important to find balance in our lives and draw clear boundaries between our profession and our personal identities.
Flip the script on Work/Life Balance…to Life/Work Balance
All we need is a perspective shift. Instead of trying to find time for work-life balance, let’s create focus around life-work balance, where work isn’t the highest priority of each day…but life is.
We know for sure that work can have one of the greatest influences on our life. We not only rely on it to survive, but we spend almost half of our waking weekly hours at work. And that is not even acknowledging the amount of emails, and calls we are managing from home during non work hours. That’s pretty consuming and depending on what type of work you do, how you feel about the work you do and the stress level involved, it can have an enormous effect on your life. With or without balance.
Given the impact it does have on your life, good and bad, you can see why it is so important to refocus.
But how do we shift from work-life to life-work balance?
While we can’t just flip a switch to create this change, we can create a new intention, which will begin to shift our thinking. You know, if you change one thing, it can change everything. And in this case, we first need to change our mind about this balancing act, for the simple reason that everything we do is in direct relation to what we think.
In order to start prioritizing life over work, you need to change the way you think about work.
What surrounds this profession you have? Is it merely to grab hours and a paycheck? Is it a stepping stone to the next best thing? Or is it a meaningful spot in your life that creates a sense of fulfillment for you?
If you can find meaning, I mean, even paying the bills is meaningful, and you generally don’t feel miserable at the end of each day, then stay and we can begin working on the life part.
But if you can’t find meaning or if even the meaning makes it challenging to go back each day, commit to change. Do whatever you have to. Recruit support, consider a job change, self employment or communicate your needs to management. Then be patient, yet diligent, and find that new thing that motivates you. The mere act of being proactive will feel empowering and give you the growth mindset you need to focus on life-work balance.
The next step is to re-think what’s really important to you, by accepting that your personal time matters, just as much as your professional life, if not more. Your family, children, leisure time, along with the time you spend alone with your thoughts, your health, hobbies, etc.––they all truly matter, because that is what your life is made of.
Consciously realign yourself with your values and everything that actually feels enjoyable. The things in life that make you excited to get out of bed each morning. Ask yourself this simple question: If I keep living my life the same way I’m living it now, will I get closer or further from my life vision and dreams?
And then, plan, prioritize and be intentional.
The first step toward change is simply making the inner decision and plan to change. While it’s the only way to begin the process, it can not stand alone. Once the decision has been made, the next step is to mindfully create specific actions that will lead to this change. You will need a clear and intentional strategy so you can prioritize each step that will get you closer to where you want and/or need to be. Next, set your intentions with realistic and achievable goals and timelines. Be specific about how you will spend your time moving towards the things that truly matter in your life.
Start questioning what’s possible?
What would it look like if you had time to engage in meaningful and engaging conversations with friend and family? Who would you spend more time with? What kinds of activities would you engage in if there were more time?
In addition to considering these answers, let’s then find a place to write them down. Consider using a new planner, or one you already use for work. Yet instead of only listing your work tasks, add life-related activities as your Most Important Task of the Day. It may seem crazy at first, but this is how you will begin to see real results.
Let’s get present. Life is right now. COVID19 certainly helped us realize the urgency of that, yet we still need constant reminders how fleeting life can be. Take all the hardships you or friends and family have experienced during this difficult pandemic and use it in a positive way. Use it as a reminder of how precious each day is and how simple it is to take it for granted.
Recreating Life-Work Balance at Work
A great way to challenge yourself in this area is to recreate life-work balance at work. Yes, while you are at work! Whether you are in a leadership role or not, you may even be able to influence others in a positive way, just by modeling this shift at work. By shifting the way you think about work, setting clear expectations and boundaries, and promoting a greater appreciation for your personal life can encourage others to do the same. Wouldn’t it be great to be surrounded by colleagues who had that same priority? Of course it would!
So let’s give it a try. It does not have to be a complete overhaul. This shift in thinking could begin with simple changes you make just 30 minutes a day. Everyday, commit to a specific period of time to prioritize yourself and your needs. Then write it down, or recruit an accountability partner, but do it. Instead of thinking of it as a luxury, consider it to be a necessity. It’s how we create intentional lives, ones that we embrace, enjoy and choose.