If Motivation is a Choice, Why Don’t I Choose it?
So wait. Being motivated is not dependent upon what you feel, but is actually a choice? Like, one that I could choose anytime? How can that be when often the simplest of tasks, like waking up, feels nearly impossible?
As my mama used to say, ‘there are a lot of legs on this one.’ By taking a real look at what is attached to this feeling of I just don’t feeeeeeel like it, you can uncover the reason and then learn to change the narrative.Motivation is NOT a feeling. It is actually a choice. That is the good news and the bad news. Good...because now you know it is in your realm of possibility and you can access it. Bad...because you will need to change that narrative you have created around not feeling motivated enough.
Let’s start by looking at the first and simplest task we need to attend to each day.
THE MORNING ALARM. Every morning you hear the alarm, remind yourself of the narrative about being tired and hit the snooze. While I know that you have convinced yourself this is not a problem, just the way it is, be clear that pattern no doubt shows up in other areas of your life as well. So let’s look deeper since it sets the stage for the entire day of your entire life.
Questions to ask yourself before you even set the alarm: Are you being reasonable about the time you have set for yourself?Are you going to sleep at an hour that allows you to have a minimum of 6-8 hours? Does this time allow enough time for you to be alert and ready to start your day without rushing around? If you have answered yes to all of these, you are ready for the next line of questioning. If not, reassess which one of those need to be reset.
Questions to ask yourself after the alarm has sounded: Am I extending my night hours in order to avoid the morning? Is there something I am avoiding that makes me not want to get up? Do I feel like I have very little control on my life? Do I feel overwhelmed or pressured by my current job? Do I feel a lack of enthusiasm and passion for my current job? Do I feel a lack of purpose in regards to what I am asking myself to do?
If you have answered yes to at least one of these, not feeling like getting up makes sense. It also explains why it is hard to focus on tedious tasks at work, as well as trying to get your butt to the gym! Somewhere along the way you began to do certain things in your life because someone told you it was the right thing to do, it was perhaps good for you, or would make you a lot of money, which would then make you happy. Yet you never did see the purpose for yourself and have thus been anything but motivated. Instead, you have settled into feeling resentful, uncomfortable, lazy and irritable.
But what if you aren’t any of those things? Let’s just try on the idea that motivation is a choice and not a feeling. If so, then it doesn’t matter how you feel about it and could simply do it. Which is true! It is why even when you don’t feel like working out, convincing yourself to simply get there, seems to be enough to engage happily in a workout. It is why even though you have dreaded beginning the process of those cold calls, once you begin, you feel on fire. Because it is the simple act of doing that creates motivation. The important part is assessing the pieces in your life: What you do, who you are with and what your self worth is, in order to follow through with the tasks at hand. Once you have declared that, you will have to choose which ones you want to continue having in your life and which you have to choose at least for now, even if you don’t want to. Then find a temporary purpose in doing them, without relying on how you feel.
Choose to be motivated because you can and don’t expect the feelings to follow. Eventually they will catch up!